Nikki Shaw landed at the first SW:S retreat on her Harley, just days after returning from a long deployment in Iraq. No idea what she was in for, just agreeing to go with a friend. She could have backed out when he canceled, but she believed in honoring her word.
Jay Clementi arrived at the first retreat after a busy week of songwriting in Nashville. A professional writer for many years, he was well-versed in turning stories into chart-topping hits. He arrived ready to listen deeply and carry his co-writer’s story into a tune. His mission was to honor their truth.
During the first night jam session, Jay shared a song he had written called, “Predator Road,” a raw, pounding take on preparing for the fury and fire of combat. After the concert, Nikki approached Jay and said, “I know that song.” She showed him a tattoo she had made with the song’s chorus written inside two angel wings. Unbeknownst to all, the connecting through song had begun long before that retreat.
Jay couldn’t get his guitar and writing pad out fast enough. They broke out the just-put-away-snack tray and settled in for a write. Nikki was ready to answer whatever questions Jay fired her way. Within a few kitchen-lit hours, the two wrote “Blackout” about Nikki’s desperate attempts to sleep, to keep herself going.
As a combat veteran with 20 years of medical experience ranging from field combat medic to the United States Forces – Afghanistan Surgeon Sergeants Major and through deployments, moves, and eventual full retirement from the Army—Nikki has returned to retreats to volunteer as peer support and to special events to support the SW:S mission.
Now serving as a guide in a partner program for veterans committed to making a change in their own lives, Nikki has found a way to help others keep going. In this new role, Nikki shares, “It is so rewarding to watch the students literally BLOOM before your eyes over the seven days. I am so grateful, blessed, and humbled to be part of this. I truly feel I have found my purpose in life.”
We are humbled by the strengths Nikki shares – bravery, authenticity, humor, love of learning, leadership, and perspective. And we are also grateful and blessed that as part of our origin story, she also includes SW:S as part of hers.
Nikki Shaw, Belton, TX, 2012. Photo: Andy Dunaway.
Black Out
Nikki Shaw / Jay Clementi
It all started far from home
At night when I was all alone
Trying to dose off with my headphones on
Praying for a couple winks
But I just can’t fall asleep
Those images are just too strong
God I wish I could
It would feel so damn good
To just
Black Out Black Out
A cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I’m finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out
Now it’s back to normal life
I can’t forget the sacrifice
I’m at home but I’m still there
Everyday I play the game
But I know I’m not the same
My life is hanging on a prayer
I stop buy the six around five
At nine I’m feeling fine and by ten it’s time
Black Out Black out
A cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I’m finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out
The only way I know
To let the darkness go
And rest my weary soul
Is to…
Black Out Black Out
With a cold 24 pack to knock me out
Stop this dark and desperate dreaming
Peaceful sleep is all I’m finding
I just want to rack out but it kills me to say the only way
Is to Black Out Black Out
I’m gonna
Black Out Black Out
I’m so Tired
I’m gonna Black Out
© 2012 Sony/ATV Cross Keys (ASCAP)
Closing circle, Belton, TX, 2012. Photo: Stacy Pearsall.