Do you all remember a feeling associated with warm rolls? You know,the feeling when someone like a grandmother, aunt, father, or possibly a good friend mixed, kneaded, and baked warm rolls for a special occasion? Maybe, in that moment you felt cared for, safe, relief, comfort, and love. While it might seem a little goofy, I want to sharethrough this analogy the feeling of warm rolls and why my husband and I feel safe, cared for, relieved, comforted, and loved when it comes to Songwriting With: Soldiers (SW: S).
During our first SW: S 2019 Retreat, Floyd and I found a space of safety and relief. Here, we initially began sorting out ourselves and our relationship with one another after my war time deployment to Operation Iraqi Freedom, 2004. Coming out of an intense environment where my brain rewired into a state of hypervigilance and my body in a state of neurological chaos, we needed additional resources to turn ourselves around. In 2019, after many years of complex traumatreatment, overwhelming disease diagnosis, and shattered lives, we needed some warm rolls . . . to feel goodness in the world.
God met us there, in this space of healing. Music and lyric do that. This rewires the brain and cracks open the heart to love, understanding, faith, goodness, and forgiveness. We needed to see it modeled by others in community and collaboration. During this retreat the songwriters, team, venue, and Veteran community gave us the relief or shift in our brains to begin to sense the gift of life through the goodness of warmth and inclusion. Our physical minds and hearts became vulnerable and open to lyric and song translating our brokenness in a way to begin to renew, open up, and connect. We did this through our songs, Strong by Floyd C. Howes and Songwriter, Darden Smith: and my song, Home Brewed Pain created with Songwriter, JD Martin and songs of our retreat Veterans and Songwriters. The aromatic safety of fresh warm rolls lingered in the air as we laughed, cried, and recognized the organic healing around us.We all want to feel better, be better versions of ourselves; mostly, toheal and be our authentic selves.
Today, Floyd, a retired civilian, musician and songwriter for more than four decades, and I, a retired military service member and Operation Iraqi Freedom Veteran, intentionally select the SW: S community as a space to include in our whole health care and to maintain wellness inour lives. It is one of three organizations we keep at the core of our world that plants the seeds of kindness, cultivates gratitude, and grows love. This is so much so that we began to collaborate with one anotherthrough our lived experience in story and song to heal our marriage. Then we began to look at our gifts of writing and song to be sources of safety to others as they find relief while going through grief and loss;for elementary students needing a safe place to study, create, and build their faith; for elders who long for someone to ask—will you let me listen to your story; will you share your wisdom and lived experience with me, and create music with me. We enrolled in peer support courses both civilian and VA resourced to equip ourselves to listen to other’s lived experiences. Recently, we received the opportunity to join the new Alumni SW: S APP where we can continue to heal, learn, and create.
Tonight, we traveled here from Colorado via Pennsylvania, New York, Rhode Island, Maryland, Virginia, South Carolina. We are here to connect and be in relationship to create that feeling of warm rolls.
Authors Note: Originally, we hoped to stop and have coffee with the team as we travelled through Nashville. We are humbled and honored for the invitation to attend the SW: S Listening Session at Ocean Way Recording Studio. Thank you for the warm rolls of inclusion, creativity, kindness, connection, and the opportunity to listen.